Ultimate Juggler

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

No More Tears in Heaven

It is Wednesday night now and my nephew of 21 years of age took his own life about 50 hours ago. I won't say much about him out of respect except that I will always think of him as someone who had the utmost of ideals and who struggled to function in a world that did not live up to his expectations. Goodbye Chris, I will always miss you and admire you for your dream of a better life. You were not wrong in what you wanted. I hope you have found it now. May your soul be at peace.

As a mom of 3 boys, my nephew's death caused me to look at my sons and my role in their life in a different way. I hugged my 5 year old more often over the last couple of days and spent more quality time with him. I worked hard on my office work so that I could free up more time to be there for my three guys in the next couple of days and over the weekend.

I remember being age 20 and, although independent and living on my own, how I felt so scared and confused about life and my future. Now 37, I hope I never forget this fact when my own children are that age. I want to stay involved in their life as a friend and a guide. I think that children are always our children and they need us to be there for them, even when they don't ask. We need to stay connected with them, especially when they are spreading their wings and learning to fly on their own. Life can seem so daunting when you are trying to make it on your own for the first time.

My heart is so saddened for the all of the young people who are suffering a silent anguish right now and contemplating ending their own lives. May they please speak up to someone and voice their thoughts. I wish I could tell them that life DOES get better, yes it is hard, but over time the problems will not seem so great. I hope that this never happens to another person - it is such a terrible and tragic waste.

Goodbye for now.


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